Roast Generator

About the Roast Generator

How to use it

1. Pick a roast category.
2. Press New roast until one makes you laugh.
3. Copy it and send it, then brace yourself for the comeback.

Classic roasts and comebacks

1. You're not stupid, you just have bad luck when thinking.
2. I'd agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.
3. You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room.
4. You're like a cloud. When you disappear, it's a beautiful day.
5. If I had a dollar for every smart thing you said, I'd be broke.
6. You're proof that even evolution takes breaks.
7. I'd explain it to you, but I left my crayons at home.
8. Your secrets are always safe with me. I never listen when you tell me them.
9. You're the human version of a participation trophy.
10. Somewhere out there, a tree is producing oxygen for you. Go apologize to it.
11. You're like a software update. Every time I see you, I think, not now.
12. I'm not saying you're slow, but you'd lose a race to a loading screen.
13. You're the reason shampoo bottles have instructions.
14. Your brain has too many tabs open and they're all playing music.
15. If laziness were an Olympic sport, you'd come fourth so you wouldn't have to climb the podium.
16. You're the plot twist nobody asked for.
17. You're like Monday morning in human form.
18. You have the confidence of someone who has never been right.
19. You're the kind of person who claps when the plane lands.
20. You're not the sharpest tool in the shed, but you are definitely in the shed.

Roasts for friends

1. You're my best friend because nobody else would put up with you. Or me.
2. You're the friend who says I'm five minutes away while still in the shower.
3. You type lol with a completely straight face and we both know it.
4. You're the reason our group chat has a mute button.
5. Every friend group has a chaotic one. If you can't spot them, it's you.
6. You've been about to start going to the gym for three years.
7. You call it a power nap. We call it a coma with snoring.
8. Your cooking is so bad the smoke alarm cheers you on.
9. You have the memory of a goldfish and the snack stash of a squirrel.
10. You're the only person who can get lost while using GPS.
11. You think a balanced diet is a burger in each hand.
12. You've watched the same show nine times and still gasp at the twist.
13. If there were an award for leaving people on read, you'd leave the trophy on read too.
14. You treat the group chat like a diary nobody signed up to read.
15. You're like a phone at 1 percent battery. Dramatic and about to disappear.
16. You say you're low maintenance, then take 45 minutes to pick a restaurant.

Roasts for gamers

1. You play so badly the NPCs feel sorry for you.
2. Your aim is so bad you'd miss a target in the tutorial.
3. You're the reason games have an easy mode.
4. You lag more in real life than you do online.
5. You rage quit a cooking game.
6. Your controller has filed a formal complaint.
7. You blame lag so often your router wants a lawyer.
8. You'd lose a 1v1 against the loading screen.
9. Even the bots have you marked as a free kill.
10. You camp so much you should get a tent sponsorship.
11. Your teammates mute you, and so does the enemy team.
12. You're the reason the respawn button is worn out.
13. You speedrun losing.
14. You've spent more on skins than on skills.
15. You took fall damage in a game without falling.
16. Your strategy is just vibes and panic.

Roasts for siblings

1. Mom says I'm her favorite. She just calls you her most interesting.
2. You were the practice child. I was the finished product.
3. You've been borrowing my stuff since before you could walk.
4. You eat the last snack and leave the empty box like a trophy.
5. You take so long in the bathroom we should charge you rent.
6. You're the reason our parents need a vacation.
7. You snitch faster than the Wi-Fi drops.
8. In every family photo, you're the one blinking. It's a talent.
9. You call it sharing. I call it robbery with extra steps.
10. You were a surprise. Honestly, you still are.
11. You've been grounded so often the house knows you by name.
12. Your idea of chores is moving the mess into my room.
13. You'd argue with a stop sign and still lose.
14. You still think the remote is yours because you held it once in 2015.

Roast Generator FAQ

How do you roast someone without being mean?

Aim at things people choose, like their music taste, gaming skills or lateness, never at their appearance or anything they can't change. And be ready to laugh when it's your turn.

Can I use these at a party or a birthday?

Yes. They're clean enough for most crowds. For a toast or speech, mix a couple of roasts with something heartfelt at the end.